Nkemjika - What I now was - Roast Corn & Ube
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Nkemjika – What I now was

“Nkemjika! Nkemjika!”

It was a voice that sounded familiar yet strange at the same time.

And it called from within, not without. If’anachọ had found space inside of me. I do not know how he got in there; I don’t recall making space for him but somehow, he found a way.

Even though Ugonna, Maduemesi and Izuchukwu had prepared me to find me, they had also left their marks on me. I knew who I was, I knew what I was but what I wanted or thought I wanted was tainted by what I had.

“I am here,” I replied.

But when I looked at him, I saw the outline of Ugonna, Maduemesi and Izuchukwu.

I did not think If’anachọ was what I was looking for.

He spoke plainly but I heard their voices.

He looked carefully but I saw their eyes.

He sat beside me quietly but I heard their noise.

“Is there something about me you do not like?” His calm eyes bore deeply into mine. I looked at him again, thoughtfully, this time. I kept my gaze steady; he neither blinked nor flinched. The longer I stared at him, the less I saw the vestiges of Ugonna, Maduemesi and Izuchukwu in him.

“Nkemjika,” he called again.

“If’anachọ, I responded.

“I am not them. I am me. See me for who I am. I found space in you even when you did not make it and I fitted in. Unless you permit me, I will not take of you nor bend you. Who you are, what you are, is all I want; all I need.”

If’anachọ, was the Looking that found me.

Not on a pedestal, not in the shadows, not waiting for failure to be my success.

Looking found me and filled a space it found in me.

16 Comments
  • seyi gambo
    Posted at 21:34h, 29 August Reply

    Splendid!

  • hrh7
    Posted at 02:47h, 30 August Reply

    Interesting. Veree interesting.
    On a completely unrelated note, is your wedding anniversary coming soon?
    Lovely post dear. ?

  • Adaeze
    Posted at 07:46h, 30 August Reply

    Interesting and beautiful

  • Nkem Okechukwu
    Posted at 08:54h, 31 August Reply

    Yes! You called me “Nkemjika”
    My name is Nkemjika and looking around found me here!
    Lovely post

    • Obisco1
      Posted at 09:13h, 31 August Reply

      Awww, thank you for ‘answering’ the call!
      Please read ‘What I Was Not I&II’ to see how I got to you?
      Thank you for visiting.

  • Monale A (The Versatile Nigerian)
    Posted at 18:23h, 09 February Reply

    “I am not them. I am me. See me for who I am. I found space in you even when you did not make it and I fitted in. Unless you permit me, I will not take of you nor bend you. Who you are, what you are, is all I want; all I need.”

    I love this paragraph. So well thought out and articulated.

    Hello from the other side :-). Been a minute.

    • Obisco1
      Posted at 18:58h, 09 February Reply

      It has indeed. Thank you.
      But I ‘see’ you…you are doing things…good things??????
      Well done, you!

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